I really wanted to start off my new blog with something that commemorates the 10th anniversary of the attacks on the WTC, Pentagon and Shanksville, PA, but tonight, this has been on my heart...
I've officially been single now for oh, I'd say a year and four months and in that year and four months a lot has changed for me. I attended Grace University in Omaha for about 4 months, dropped out, moved back to Grand Island, was unemployed for almost 5 months, moved in with a friend, starting working at Health Care Laundry Service in March and then proceeded to move into my own place on Anna St.
I lost custody of Aubrie Lynn and have been paying child support since April. Needless to say, while the loss of Aubrie was the defining blow of the last 16 months, the untimely burden of (in my opinion) a highly unreasonable amount in child support has also cause significant damage to my self-esteem and my finances. I'd love to say that "Aubrie Lynn is worth it" and she is, to some extent, but really the things that I could provide for her have been lessened nonetheless. I suppose the courts would say that "I'm providing for my daughter better than if I she (Randi) didn't have the child support" but I feel that there is no reason why Randi and I can't come to a compromise, so that Aubrie is still provided for and her father (that would be me hehehe) is able to move on with his life and look forward to a future relationship with someone else down the road...
Which brings me to the reason for writing this blog in the first place:
As you can see by the title "totheCrossicling3:16" this is a blog mainly about my continued "walk" or relationship with Jesus Christ. So, that name alone may send some of you "scattering like roaches who hiding under an overturned stone". Be that as it may, I feel that Christ is severely overlooked, misplaced, misrepresented and misunderstood in today's society. Perhaps if Christ (and the Bible) had not been so fatally and continuously misrepresented all these years by countless "believers" (including myself) then the very name of Jesus Christ would render joy and thanksgiving in people's hearts and not ridicule, dishonor and shame. So let me simply say that as a follower of Christ myself, I apologize to anyone who I have ever condemned, judged or persecuted in the name of Christ. Jesus doesn't condone my behavior and neither should I.
That being said, what does it mean to be content in our seasons of singleness?
... well, I will delve more into that later but I will use one of my favorite verses of Scripture to touch base with how we (myself including) might view our singleness not as a moment of mere loneliness and weakness but instead to shape ourselves for any future relationships we might enter into; and (if your a believer) to make use of the time we have being single to better serve Christ and strengthen our relationship with Him further by connecting and depending upon Him more and more each day.
The following verse from the book of Philippians tells us how the Apostle Paul, while even though in captivity, reminds us of the strength we have in Christ Jesus to "get us through any and all circumstances".
"Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."
- Philippians 4:11-13
... pleasant dreams.
-Jesse
